This is a big question.
Do I have to go for this connection? Should I marry this man? Should I take a new job? Should I buy another city?
What if it fails? What if I look stupid? What if I lose money? What if I can not survive? (If you ask this question, you probably can not risk it!)
One of the greatest risks I've ever bought was Lorenzo's marriage. There has been an unsuccessful marriage. What if there was one more? What if I use the A-USA entry fee?
All of these doubts. All these questions.
So you got the risk of getting married?
Up to now.
The romantic relationship with Lorenzo was much deeper. To my greatest pleasure and deepest fears.
And it was worth it.
So how do you decide whether you're risking or risking?
1. "Ben Franklin"? Or "Dip Stick"? My dad always said, "If you decide to do it like Ben Franklin … the page." On one side you list the benefits. It is.
"Ben Franklin" is a manly approach to decision making. Masculine thinking about the risk and consequences of choice and then making a logical and intelligent decision.
The Feminine Approach is "Dip-Stick".
When I decided to marry Lorenzo or not, Dr. Pat Allen suggested that I "moan" my feelings.
If I felt that Lorenzo was married I gave a "Yes" sign. If I did not, I would select "No".
After a week (or two), the "Yes" page won. So we got married. (Do you think you thought there was more to it?)
So, ladies, draw a line to the side and write "benefits" and "disadvantages" for them YES or NO. You may want to look at your feelings several times a day for a week.
Even if both parties start smoothly, one side eventually wins the other.
And "crazy production" between the head and the heart stops (thinking, feeling, thinking, feeling, thinking, feeling …).
2. Can you benefit from the price tag?
If your risk assumption failed, would you survive?
If you have lost your investment, your partner or your job, would you like to experience this experience? (I'm not just talking about the dollar and the cent.)
Is the actual experience worth it? Are you a "better" person? Can you learn something valuable? Do you mind if you do not do it?
Looking back on your life, is this a worthy investment for your money, your time, your energy, or your life?
If the answer is "Yes", do so.
I thought DUTY DATING would lead me to my next movie project. No.
But DUTY DATING led me to my husband.
And the "Dating Director". And many people met you. And the opportunity to create another career outside the (brutal) movie industry.
I learned a LOT writing, sorting and making a feature film. The experience was invaluable. Never trade.
And DUTY DATING has been completed and distributed internationally. (I've even seen my laws on Italian TV :))
3. What is your plan B?
I understand that there are not many "risk managers" in their B plan. They say because there is simply no alternative. Fine. If so, you have to do it, so be sure to do it. Lucky.
But for some of us, if life goes unexpectedly, plan B is nice. If something does not work the way you want, something goes down. Even if the "drop" is not exactly the dream.
When I decided to move to LA, I was not sure I could handle it. After all, I grew up in a small Tennessee town. (The big city for me was Knoxville.)
But I knew I fell down to my butt … if I lost everything … and finally I got off the street, I'll always go home. Back to Kingsport, Tennessee. My parents would take it. It was not my ideal choice (not them). But I have at least one security net.
And that means great comfort. It gives me permission to take risk.
So I propose Plan B. Not that you've ever used it. But knowing to offer possible alternatives. And rest.
Here's the risk taker in you!
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